Ever feel like you are on a treadmill?

One thing I like about the work of a real estate agent is that every day is different.  No 2 days are the same….. Yet sometimes I feel as if I am on a treadmill… Slowly winding my way this thing we call life…. I only rarely make things happen or create big changes…..  I wake up and drink my coffee… I check the web… I might blog… Read the paper.. I go do my business… I avoid the cleaning (my bad)… I feed the dogs and cats… I used to get the kids ready to go to school…

In fact there used to be a time that I had a very active social life between 7 and 8:30 AM… My dad would stop by and have breakfast before work.  My friend would drop off her kid at the junior high and drop by… We would all have a nice visit as I my kids got ready for school.. I would put my kids and the next door neighbor’s kids in the car and deliver everyone to school by 8:30 AM… This was before I put the kids in private school and before my dad retired and before I became a real estate agent… It was a bit invigorating…. But it was still a treadmill…  Mom got sick I had care of a elderly aunt (in assisted living) but the days seemed the same….

I tried to get off the treadmill and go to work as a scientist… My boss lost his grant and I lost my job….  Then I became a real estate agent…. Now maybe I am reading an inspection report with my coffee… I will show a home in 20 minutes… If I am lucky I will write an offer…  I go through life wanting to make a difference but mostly I do the things I need to do to complete the day, the week, the month, the year… Yes and perhaps the year… I fail sometimes to see what is most important to me… My husband, my sons, my family and friends…. I am so busy on my treadmill that I fail to stop for the things that most matter… It doesn’t seem very long that my first baby was put in my arms yet I have ridden the treadmill and am now 50… I shake my head and wonder where the time has gone… I have enjoyed most of my life but sometimes I feel that I am on a treadmill…. My goals now are to help my kids…. Go to China (where my eldest is)… And put money away for retirement…. Will I look up at 70 and say I don’t feel old?  Where did the life go?  We are retired…. We volunteer  or travel… Maybe my husband is still playing in second life… Maybe I help with the grand kids, not yet born… Maybe I have pets….. But will I be on the treadmill….

Yesterday I was at lunch with the ladies of my synagogue and I said grandchildren are my due for raising my kids…. Are they?  I hope so…  I have done some pretty exciting things… I have run for Congress… Twice I have lived on the economy in foreign countries…. I love my husband, my children and my family…. So why do I sometimes feel as if I am on a treadmill… Walking nowhere except to the final destination…. It is the journey and building a better world that is important… My journey isn’t bad and I stand for causes I believe in… I help where I can… I do my job… So how do I get off the treadmill mood and enjoy the beautiful cool sunshine….  Do you ever feel that you are on a treadmill?


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